𝗥𝗼𝘆 𝗕𝗮𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗚𝗶𝗹𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀𝗵
Life’s a bowl of cherries
It’s also a bowl of crap
It’s a cabaret, a revolving door,
a route marked on a map
But after three score years and ten
the end is feeling real
And whatever life is, what the heck
You just want more, you feel
Well that’s too bad, you greedy git
Your lust for life’s obscene
When your time’s up it’s just too bad
Blame the selfish gene
So what comes next?
you might well ask
Nothing, says the atheist
Something, says the mystic
(and the unbelievable believer)
No one really knows
which should put Nothing in the lead
But many near-death day-trippers say
there’s Something coming next
Consciousness being unexplained
my money’s on Something to win
Something good or something bad though?
A Heaven of wonderful meaning
or a Hell of meaningless dreams?
I pray to Om for mercy,
for meaning after death
But The Great Om is silent
He’s on a toilet break, the total fake
My prayer goes drifting into space
Something scenario 1: judgement
On the day of judgement at the crossroads,
with St Peter, the Devil
and Robert Johnson watching on
a ghostly AI does the dirty work
of sifting swiftly through my life
The result isn’t great
‘What d’you say?’, says Johnson
in a kindly kind of way
I say I’m sorry
for not making the most of it
and being a shit sometimes
It wasn’t my fault, give me a break, I whine
Then, pulling what’s left of myself together,
I say, Whatever. Do it
And my afterlife begins
Something scenario 2: quantum reality
Obviously, the multiverse
being made of consciousness,
and everything being an illusion, kind of,
and my consciousness being a durable
construct of quantum reality,
I survive death
I have a body made of quantum magic
Like mine but young and healthy
I see the light, dead friends and relatives
Maybe Baby Jesus and Santa Claus
Another illusion? Perhaps
But it’s better than instant Nothing. Isn’t it?
Scenario 2a: reincarnation
After a while,
in the reincarnation unit
surrounded by the spirits of
my surviving loved ones (if any)
and maybe an angel or two
my soul is stripped down
to its quantum core
And reborn (preferably as a human, FFS)
Hello again!
(Additional souls for the increasing population are imported from elsewhere)
Scenario 2b: reabsorption
After a (different) while,
in the reabsorption unit
(watched again by loved ones and angels)
I dissolve into the ocean of quant
Bye bye!
Scenario 2c: freedom!
After a (short) while,
I join a rebel group
and we escape from Heaven
in a scifi-action-movie kind of way
We roam the quantum multiverse
on our quest for cosmic justice
Like Roy Batty and Gilgamesh
we’re going to meet our maker
Whoopee!
(Other quantum scenarios may be available)
Or… there’s Nothing
Brain shuts down, mind fades fast
Never mind, I think – it was never going to
The End!
soothfairy 