More tea, Vicar?

Begun 2020 | 400 words | The joke | Thought for the day

Q: Why do people say, ‘More tea, Vicar?’ when someone farts?

A: It’s a joke about the thin veneer of civilisation covering our all-too solid animal nature, and our embarrassment about it – always good for a laugh.

The joke <<

Imagine: a semi-mythical English past where people called their front room, if they had one, the parlour. The parlour was the best room, reserved for special occasions.

One such occasion would be a visit by the vicar, the Church of England parish priest. The family would wear their Sunday-best clothes, and tea would be served using the best service.

The conversation – like the tea – might be strained. The status of the guest depended on a shared tradition of faith in a supernatural supreme being, a belief which inevitably caused doubt in the minds of all concerned – not least, that of the vicar.

During an awkward pause in the conversation someone, perhaps nervously, lets rip a loud fart. To mitigate the even more awkward silence and the undeniable animal stench, Mother, who traditionally pours the tea, brightly asks, ‘More tea, Vicar?’.

(Equally traditionally, Father may relieve the tension with a cheerful “Better out than in!“, thus enabling the conversation to sputter on. With children dismissed, fortified wine might then be produced, to the relief of all.)

Thought for the day <<

Saying ‘More tea, Vicar?’ is funny. It’s also thought-provoking.

The joke depends on the incongruous congruity of the reverend vicar, representing God-based civilisation, and the animal fart, an undeniably gross noise and smell. It’s about the split between mind and body.

I’m not an animal! Mummy!

From Bodies on the album Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols (1977)

We might childishly deny bodiliness because of our confusingly transcendent consciousness and our fear of death. But we are animals, of course.

Until science comes up with a bio-modification, we have to eat and drink – and then shit and piss. And fart. Eating and drinking’s fine – the other stuff, disgusting but funny. Gaseous farting, least disgusting, is the easiest to joke about.

God being spiritual, and farting animal, the joke ‘More tea, Vicar?’ humourously encapsulates the tension not only in the parlour but also between those two worlds of meaning – and suggests unease about our animality. The tea is a healing balm.