Law and order


Rule of law? Listen, darling, the rich got rich by stealing the land from the people. Then we had to protect our wealth from the people. So we implemented a legal system with extremely harsh punishments for theft or insurrection. That’s what the law’s for: to protect the rich.

Of course it protects the poor as well now, doesn’t it. To carry on protecting us in these ‘democratic’ times, the law must be seen to serve everybody. The people know the truth, kind of, but for the sake of a quiet life they go along with it.

Some of us got super-rich. We’re above the law. Sure, there has to be a sacrifice every now and then. One of us gets tossed on the bonfire, for the sake of appearances. But apart from that, we’re functionally above the law.

Down there, the degree of inequity is such that law and order is needed to prevent unrest. Shall I use a metaphor, dear? If the pit props of the law break, the goldmine of civil contentment will collapse. That’s not good for us. The people would be ruled by gangsters, and we’d have to find another way.

The people are quite capable of running things themselves, of course, and sharing out the wealth – but without law, how would they overcome the gangster warlords? That’s why they go along with our law – they know there’s no alternative!

You know, dear, people in poor countries – not having the judicial superstructure and public service integrity they’d need for effective law – would love our western law and order. No more extortion by gangsters, or the corrupt secret police knocking on your door in the middle of the night. The law might have bad masters, but it manages to keep us at arm’s length, and serves us all, rich and poor alike. Simply delightful, my dear!

Democracy suits us. We don’t have to lift a finger, apart from the occasional meeting or intervention. The system practically runs itself, on bread and circuses. And thanks to the offshore magic, we don’t even have to pay for it! Marvellous!

The state is a wonderful thing, darling. It does everything for people, so they don’t have to care. They just pay taxes. It makes them selfish and spiritless. They don’t think about inequity – or about us. It’s perfect!

Watch the drinking, and it’s a wonderful life. I know, we can’t buy immortality yet. That’s why we’re crowd-funding that project, isn’t it. More Dom, darling?

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